Disclaimer:
This post does not intend to ridicule or insult any company or any person. This
is just an outlet of my frustration. If you don’t want to read any negativity,
quickly scroll down, or hit the hide button.
*****
It
was the best interview I’ve had since internship. I got nervous because it was
a panel and I was not informed beforehand. Surprisingly though, I handled it
really well. (I’ve had some pretty bad interviews prior so I think I know what
a good interview, on my part, really is.) Question after question, I was
cruising, hitting those babies *plok* right out of the ballpark. I felt really assertive on giving my answers and
never felt so good about my performance in a job interview. When they made me
choose between loyalty and integrity, after defending my answer, I felt like
they wanted to give me a standing ovation. And, this was the only interview where
I made my interviewees laugh so hard; in a good way it is. And it was a panel
for crying out loud! Until this one particular question came up…
“How
do you see yourself five years from now?” Five years. Wow. Five years ago, I
did not see myself taking masters in communication, but here I am. I didn’t
even see myself sitting there, doing an interview. Get my point? Whatever.
I
wanted to say, “As if I knew where I would be five hours from now.” (And to be
honest, I know. Probably at home, definitely watching possibly American Idol
XIII premiere or the latest episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine/Masters of Sex.
Hehe.) You know what, I should have said that quite frankly. Instead, my answer
sparked a debate whether my masters can actually benefit their company. Dayum
son! (Nope, I need to say that with ‘son’; thank you very much, Jake Peralta.)
I wanted to ask them, “Why should it matter?” I mean, really. Does it? And maybe
that’s the reason exactly that I don’t want to be surrounded by people so
technical that they do not know what multi-faceted means; with minds bolted so
hard I can’t crack them a little open. Besides, I never had an interview where I
found myself more superior in terms of speaking in English. (I am a terrible
speaker – in public, in reporting and defense, and even in recitation if I may
say so.)
In
my masters, even though it looks weird (but no, not really; it sounds like so,
but I don’t feel out of place in class to be honest), they consider it a
‘diversity’, which I think is a good thing. And maybe, that’s the difference –
the open mind.
I am
still waiting for that moment when an engineer would say it’s good what I’m
doing; that is, expanding my knowledge in such an unconventional way.
On
my way home, I completely zoned out of the reality that I was not aware I was
already crying. I didn’t even care about the salary. It’s more than ten grand
less than what I actually desire. And the thought to having a million-peso
(literally, sorry mom and dad) road block is just heartbreaking. Three, four interviews prior, yes,
it’s frustrating. But this one, it’s already heartbreaking what is happening. Although
I refuse to call it a mistake, it feels like it, and it is haunting me down,
big time.
I
wanted this job. Hardcore engineering. Then two years from now, I’ll be having
my arts-slash-masters degree. How awesome would that be, could that have been?
An engineer with a master-of-arts degree. Cool, huh? But at this moment, say
whatever you want, I don’t think it’s even possible.
So
close! Fuck.
Photo taken from Google